We're off to see the Wizard!

Last night was probably the most complicated rehearsal we've had so far.
Up until now it's been all vocal rehearsals for the ensemble, but it's when we kick into blocking and dancing rehearsals that I really feel like things are moving along.

Vocally, I'm still pretty behind seeing as how I missed the very first vocal rehearsal, but it seemed like others who didn't miss the first one were just as confused about the notes as I was. Probably not a GOOD thing, but it's good not to feel too behind of everyone else.

We staged/blocked/danced the beginning of the Merry Old Land of Oz number last night. From past experience with this theater group, whenever they say blocking - I know to wear dance clothes because it usually means dancing too.

The steps and we were "going" felt a little confusing and crazy at first, but after running through it over and over again, it actually really worked out. And was pretty fun too! Especially seeing a couple of the male dancers attempt a Russian split-jump. ("I didn't stretch first!")

There were some VERY funny moments. When the "polishers" in Oz, all guys, sang "whether you're tin or brass..." wait...Oz does NOT rhyme with brass. So everyone's imaginations rang amok. (Amok, amok, amok!)

And when the male dancers were going through their steps, they are supposed to be holding packages. So our choreographer was calling out their steps as "put your package down", "step around your packages" and "go behind your packages". This, of course, caused a loud amount of laughs from the tired, silly and just plain amused onlookers. 

She finally decided to change the term to "box"!

I can't juggle, but can I juggle being in two shows at once? Maybe twice?!

I didn't move in 2015. I haven't moved in 2016.

I got a job I pretty much love, am about to be hired on permanently and...lets face it, I still LOVE my apartment and the city I live in.

I've done 4 more shows since The Sound of Music. I'm about to up the count 3 more, maybe 4 in a matter of 7 months.

First I was cast in an ensemble role in The Wizard of Oz. Then a director I had worked with in 9 to 5, Mary, suggested I audition for another show.

So I auditioned and that audition was good for two shows.

In October I'll be doing Oz, in November I'll have an ensemble role in Miracle on 34th Street the musical and in March 2017 I'll be portraying Sister Mary Anna (aka Nun Number 6) in the musical version of Sister Act.

I was shocked to be cast in the last two shows I mentioned. I completely bombed the choreography audition. My singing audition went a LITTLE better, at least I felt like I ended strong. I didn't walk away from it feeling very good about how I did though. So much so that I didn't even pay attention when they were saying when we'd hear back.

When the cast lists came out, I only looked at the first page of the list;s didn't see my name there in either so I figured I wasn't cast. Mary made me aware of the other pages to each list and I was SHOCKED to see my name on both!

When the cast list for Sister Act was finally posted publicly, I noticed I had been moved up from the Nun Ensemble to the before mentioned role of Nun Number 6; Sister Mary Anna.

Then last night I saw a post from another theater group that they're going to be doing a production of Fiddler on the Roof. So the next couple of months will be a test to see if I can handle juggling two shows. (Although I think Sister Act will be much more demanding musically and choreography-wise than Oz or Miracle will combined.)

I've ALWAYS wanted to do Fiddler though; specifically I want the part Golde SO bad.

Stay tuned!!

Good news, great support and going forward

It's amazing what a difference a week makes! Scares like last week really put things in perspective. When you think you health and life are threatened....it's amazing what runs through your mind. Just things like packing up Christmas items and thinking "I wonder who will use these when I'm gone?"
If that wasn't an example how worrying is such a monumental waste of time.

I will say one thing, you realize who your real friends are. I only shared my fears with a few people and they were INCREDIBLY supportive. I will remember that too.

So the test itself wasn't bad at all. Took only about 5 minutes total. I was a nervous wreck though. And then after the machine turned off....I just waited...and waited. Nothing. Add to that the fact that I had to keep my eyes closed. Finally I started speaking loudly "Hello? Is anyone in here? HELLO?!" Someone did reply to me. They had called a doctor to take a look at the scans. WHAT?!?!? The lady told me that it was only to confirm that they did all the scans correctly. She also told me that if he noticed anything serious they would've kept me there. (which I know is true after having my leg scanned when I had blood clot.)

I finally heard from my Dr.'s office Friday telling me that the scans came out fine. I was SO relieved!! You don't mess around with the brain. People always told me that I needed my head examined. lol! Although I'm still having issues, at least the serious things that could cause it have been ruled out. Now it's just solving the mystery.Next stop, the ear, nose and throat folks.

The worse wort is worry

I've read all the quotes about worry "like a rocking chair, keeps you busy but gets you no where", "a down payment on a problem you may never have", or even "don't worry, be happy". But I am worried. I admit it. I'm trying to fight that feeling, but....it just keeps sneaking back.

My solution to worry is many things. Talking about, praying about it, listening to Joyce Meyer and now, blogging about it. I have to do some internet investigation on how else to deal with it because it's not working. And it only paralyzes me.

My fear is health related. I've had an issue lately that, right away, makes me scared something major is going on in my body. So the fear is...what lies ahead, of course. What is it exactly? What will I have to endure to eradicate it? It's a fear that makes me cry, and shake and even slows down the work I've done on getting ready to move. It's all consuming. And as the day gets closer to the tests I'm going for, my fear is just overwhelming. Especially today. All I want to do is sit in front of the TV for escape. Watch moves, watch comedies, watch old black and white movies, listening to hilarious stand up, but it's not relief for long. Then reality comes sneaking back in again.

I've always been a strong person, but I wonder if the worst is an actuality....how strong I really am? If the last couple weeks is any indication.....I'm not. I'm already scared, but is that just the mystery of what the issue is? Will the truth scare me even more?

I'm glad of one thing; I've been able to sleep at night. I purposely stay up late until I'm REALLY tired and then go to bed; hoping I won't wake up in the middle of the night. Why is it that your worries are even worse if you wake up at around 3am? It's terrible waking up then, getting back to sleep can be next to impossible. It's the bewitching hour - are there really evil forces at play?

So I'll continue to blog about this. Tomorrow's just the tests so...I might not know more then. Hopefully I'll have some nice people taking care of me; that makes a BIG difference in the whole experience. I'll never forget when I went to emergency for my blood clot, the people who first talked to me were SO insensitive! Fortunately, they got nicer as soon as I was admitted. I even ended up seeing a familiar face there - which was funny!

Hopefully if the rains come, I will adjust and dance in it! :)

2015....and the move

Well 2015 started off with a bang. I got laid off...AGAIN. Just 6 days into the new year. Crazy I know but in a lot of ways, I'm relieved. I didn't feel like this job was working out and I wasn't very happy there.

So now what? Things have been lining in the past few months that have lead me to the conclusion that I need to move back east with my family. Honestly, I've been thinking about it heavily for the last 3 years. I've just had to overcome some mental and "physical" obstacles to really "get there".
Where I live now is the longest I've lived any where in my life. To the point where this city became home to me. That was why when my Mom retired, I stayed here.
You get to a point in your life though where the priorities you had in your younger years aren't as important or don't exist.

Maybe some will say I'm running away; but I'm not. I don't have a lot of bad memories to run from. I have great memories here. I just don't feel like I have much of a life here anymore. I spend  more and more time by myself. Most of my friends have married and have moved on with their own lives. There isn't anything here that I can't get back home. Plus I'll be able to spend more time with my family. I have family back east who I rarely see as my time back home is so limited. I have cousins, I am Italian after all, who I rarely spend time with. I could be doing things with them, or my sister or my Mom, or my nieces and nephews instead of spending time by myself.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy. I just think I could be a lot happier.

There are some negatives to leaving here; I am leaving an AMAZING apartment. I will never find anything this nice and affordable! I will miss all the places I've become so accustomed and comfortable with. I will DEFINITELY miss Wegmans!

But weigh that with what I'll be gaining! My family, the doggies, the beautiful city of Saratoga Springs, living near where I grew up, near the Adirondacks, the lakes, the mountains.....who wouldn't go?

The more things change, the more they stay the same...

I have SERIOUSLY neglected this blog. Wow - over a year since a post?! I suck!!
So I'm back because,..well, I have a lot to complain about. This blog has always been great therapy for me. Once you get your feelings "out there" into the blogisphere - you feel the weight of those issues lifted off of you. It's literarily cathartic. (And you'll have to excuse my grammar - I like to make up words)

What's changed in the last year. My job. I should've gone w/my gut last November and turned it down. Although it beats being unemployed....
I have learned one thing; I never want a job with the details of "customer service" as part of it, or doing any kind of dispatching. It's just not for me!

Then there was the fall out. A woman I've been friends with since the 80s, kicked our friendship to the curb. I can't say I was surprised. Actually, I'm shocked it took her this long. Things have been going downhill since she got married. And it has nothing to do with her marriage either; her husband is an awesome guy. I just could never do enough for her. I was always the bad friend, my loyalty was always questioned. She's a very nurturing person, almost to a fault and she expected me, even after knowing me all this time, to be exactly like her. But I'm not. I can only be myself. I did care, but never enough in her opinion. She never let go of past issues we had. Forgetting is one thing; she never forgave. So how can you be friends with someone who holds stuff over your head? And then there was my friendship with a woman who she had a falling out with a few years back. She brought that up as well. It used to be the 3 of us; the 3 Musketeers; hanging out whenever we could. But people get older and relationships change. People change. Something blew up between them, it wasn't pretty but I thought we had moved on from it. My friendship with this woman had nothing to do with her, but she never saw it that way. She saw it as a betrayal. Their issues had nothing to do with me, so why should I choose sides? That is not my way, never was.
I thought a lot about things after the "dump me" phone call. I thought about my sister and her friends, and my mother and the friends she had at my age. I can't imagine any of them treating my Mom or my sister like this woman has treated me. So although it hurts and I miss it, I will let it go. It was her choice, not mine and she will have to live with it just as much I do.

Okay - on to some positives! I'm in another show! And I have a minor lead again! I was cast as Ma Bailey in a local production of It's a Wonderful Life the Musical. We've been in rehearsals for three weeks now and it's going pretty good. Still a lot of work to do - but I love it.

Also - I had an idea for either a book or a screen play the other night. It's something that's been in my "daydream" mind on and off for years and the other day I was thinking "ya know, I should write it." It might take me a REALLY long time to finish, but I figured it would be a great winter project once the show is over.

So that's things in a nutshell for now. Hopefully the nut won't crack! ;)

Join the family business....

Summer has ended, thank goodness! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the great weather but when you're a girl (woman) with some extra "LB's" on her, wearing shorts and short sleeved shirts isn't much fun. I prefer quarter length or long sleeves and jeans, thanks! Ah...fall is here! Football is here! But that's not the reason I'm posting.
Once again, I've been cast in a local community theater group's musical. A different group from the previous groups I've performed with. The original auditions reminded me a lot of when I auditioned for The Sound of Music; VERY low key, VERY low pressure. We were called up to the stage and taught the song that was posted in the audition packet, went over it a few times and then were called up numerically one-by-one to sing it. I felt REALLY good about my singing. Probably better than I have at ANY of the auditions I've been to since Annie. My voice teacher would've been proud!
Then we were taught a dance routine which was about 14 counts of four. We went over it a few times and then were called up in groups of four to perform it twice. I was in the first group and I felt pretty good about how I performed that too. I left that night feeling VERY positive that I had performed well enough for a spot in the cast, maybe even a lead.
Lo and behold, about an hour later, I got a call from the director asking me to come back the next night for a call back audition for a lead part I had circled on my audition application. She said there would be more singing and some acting. I was REALLY excited! And nervous. More so than for then before. I have never been called back before! I had no idea what to expect. And I had less than 24 hours to prepare...on a week day.
So during work I downloaded the song that the character sang. I also scoured the internet and YouTube looking for videos of the character, anything I could find that would help. I listened to the song OVER and OVER! That was the best I could do.
I got to the school that night and I knew my competition right away; an older woman (or maybe she's younger, I'm not sure) who was shorter, thinner and had more of the face (and nose actually) for the part. I couldn't stop looking over at her. Unfortunately, we had to wait over an hour until they called us up to the piano to go over the part of the solo we had to sing. It wasn't the part I was most confident with, doesn't it figure. The other woman went up first, and she sang it off book, totally characterized it and was hilarious. I knew it, I was screwed. I got up, did the best I could to sing the right notes and throw in a little characterization and that was it. I didn't fare much better in the acting. The 2nd scene we did someone didn't finish their line and everyone was waiting for me while I was waiting for the right line to finish - so I made it look bad. The other woman nailed it. I knew I was sunk, I was bummed. Amazing how you can be flying high one night and then be brought right back to earth the next. The other woman thanked me before I left, I'm not sure what for. For making her look good? Oh sure - any time. LOL! I mean, it was nice of her but I was confused as to how to interpret it.
The next day around lunch time I got an email from the director; I was offered a bit part and part of the ensemble. It was true - my little thoughts of hope were bashed. I was REALLY disappointing. I guess in a lot of ways I'm still that kid who always wants their way. So I spent the next few hours debating on whether to accept the lesser roles. Then I thought to myself "If I hadn't been called back like the last two shows I was in, would I have been as hesitant to accept what they offered me? I knew the answer; not a chance! So I emailed my acceptance.
Let's see how long it takes me to get over it - especially when that "other woman" starts rehearsing that freakin solo! LOL!