It's not the Thruway, it's the "Sue-way"

Unlike probably alot of people I look forward to the holidays. Living in a city with no family member within a 50 mile radius has it's advantages; you don't get caught up in the family gossip or drama TOO deeply and you definitely have your independance. I don't think I could live farther than driving distance from them though. That in itself gives me a sense of security.
So tonight I'll be on the New York State thruway dealing with tons of traffic and looking forward to the moment I arrive in Porter Corners, NY. Don't blink, you'll miss it.
I must've logged a million miles on the Thruway. When I was young I remember getting stuck in the show once, but I'm not sure where we were. I was stuffed into the backseat of the car with my sister and brother; probably scared out of my mind. I remember a dog taking off once when we let it out to relieve itself. I remember my fathers NUMEROUS road rage incidents. He was infamous for tailgating people, cutting them off and chasing them when they cut HIM off. (yes, all while his 3 young children were in the backseat) How my mother put up with that I'll never know, I would've punched him right in the mouth. He wouldn't get away with that now,..he'd either be in jail or dead. He's lucky the 70's were a kinder, gentler time. He still has road rage moments. I can think of two in the last 4 years that I was around for and was NOT happy about it. The difference is now I don't hide how I feel about him when he does it.
Back to the Thruway. I think I remember the first time I drove on it and how intimidating it was. Now it's like old hat, I just wish my car came with auto-pilot. Maybe some day. Now that they have GPS maybe it will soon be driving itself using it's own directions. Set your destination and you're off.
The most memorable trip home at holiday time was back in 1999 I believe. It was Christmas Eve day. It wasn't snowing but it was a typically cold December day in New York state. I was about 15 minutes into the last leg of my trip to my sisters. Basically it's an old truck route up towards Saratoga after about 2+ hours on the Thruway; cutting through towns like Fonda, Johnstown and Galway. I had just turned onto route 29 a few miles back and was changing my CD when a car came around to pass me. I looked down at what speed I was doing because this car passed me like I wasn't even moving; maybe I had slowed down a bit while I was putting the CD in. Nope, I was going 57. I remember looking when it passed me and seeing this women in her late 30's with brown curly hair driving a green Volkswagon Jetta. I watched her drive away and then noticed..she was passing EVERbody. Not only that but she was passing while cars were coming in the other direction. I didn't have a cell phone back then. All I could do was drive and watch cars going into ditches to avoid hitting her. This woman had a death wish.
I came around a corner, this was the area where I knew there was a dealership that sold things like yard and small farm equipment. Then I saw the smoke,...and things flying in the air. I came up closer and there were cars pulled all over the road. I had to pull off into one of the businesses because there were cars and parts everywhere. The Jetta was in a gully, crumpled and facing the wrong direction. Then I saw the other car; a silver Ford Escort sedan. It was leaned into a ditch facing the eastbound direction. The front of the car was smashed in. The smell was nothing like I had ever experienced before. There was a guy in the car, he was alive but he was a mess. Men were running over to the Jetta. Someone brought a blanket over and covered it up...I knew what that meant; She had succeded.
A woman who lived a few houses down turned out to be an EMT. She had heard the crash and rushed over to help. She was working on the guy in the Escort but he had gone into shock. I wanted to help her but the car was so demolished that I couldn't get into it to sit behind him and hold his head. That smell again. The police, the fire company and ambulances showed up very quickly. The lady in the Jetta's husband or boyfriend arrived, he was so grief-striken they had to help him walk to the squad car. I stood there talking to the people standing around and watching them use the jaws of life to cut that car open like a tin can.
People who were driving near him said that he was going pretty fast and he didn't have time to react when she pulled out to pass someone. She had hit him head-on at a speed of probably 80+ mph. Her car had flipped and landed in that gully, his had spun a couple times and ended up near that ditch. I still look at that spot when ever I go by, I refuse to pass around there.
I left just when they took him away in the ambulance. It was a long ride home.
I can't remember his name but I do remember reading about him a week later, in the obituaries. He was a young race car driver at Fonda Speedway who had recently opened his own repair shop. He wasn't even 20 years old. He died of internal injuries.
You see alot logging all those miles over the years, I hope to never see anything like that again.

You mess with the bull, you get the horns

This weekend ends the 2005 NASCAR Nextel Cup season and WOW, it went by pretty fast. It's been an entertaining season for sure but what's great about it is all the drivers I've cursed have had issues. Some of them pretty major.
Yes, I cursed them. I fully admit it. It's a weird gift I have. Something in my Italian heritage I think. At first, I thought it was just coincidence but the more it happens the more it becomes pretty scary!
It started back in 1992. I was doing some work with a minor league baseball team down in Columbia South Carolina and there was a player who I liked who had become the back-up catcher, his name was Greg Beals. (Picture a blonder, younger Kevin Costner) The starting catcher was a younger guy out of South America somewhere who was pretty good but had a HUGE ego. While I was there I had accepted an opportunity to be the teams mascot which involved wearing this big huge baseball head with mouse ears on it and run around all night in a Mets uniform. Wasn't a bad job if you don't mind sweating and being beat up by little kids.
One night while I was out on the field during player intros doing my usual dancing and finger pointing, said starting catcher swung a bat and hit me in the big-eared head. PURPOSELY. That was it for me. I told Greg the following day before batting practice that I was going to curse the dude. Not 2 minutes later while ego-man was throwing the ball around with another player to warm up, a ball came wizzing by and missed his head by inches. (and it wasn't thrown by me OR Greg) 2 months later him and his ego were shipped to Florida for extended spring training.
Michelle Kwan can thank me for the lack of gold around her neck. She was cute when she was young but she grew into this self-absorbed skater who thought she deserved the title any time she stepped onto the ice. She even had an Olympic encore performance in which she wore a gold skater suit and even the SONG had something to do with gold. Putting the cart before the horse a little bit there, aren't we Ms. Kwan??!
Fast forward to 2001. Myself and a friend of mine are in the NASCAR garage at Watkins Glen. Dale Earnhardt Jr has just emerged from his hauler and is headed to his race car. All the stupid fans in the area become a swarm of bees on him. Rusty Wallace decides that this is the perfect opportunity to make a clean break for his motorcoach. In the process he body checks my friend, even though we're standing WELL out of the way and didn't even stop to apologize. Curse time. Crusty the Clown has had one win since and is retiring at the end of this season.
Jimmy Spencer has the GALL to say that Dale Earnhardt Jr's win at Daytona the first race after his fathers death was rigged. Gotta curse that bullshit. Jimmy hasn't been able to keep a ride since. He even failed to qualify at the Glen race I attended that year.
Kurt Busch decided to treat my favorite driver Scott Riggs like a road cone during the race at Indy this year. Can't tolerate that. This past weekend Kurt was suspended for the remaning two races for a run-in with the cops in Phoenix.
Travis Kvapil jumped into the #77 Kodak car this year after one of the most personable drivers on the circuit, Brendan Gaughan, wasn't even given a chance to succeed after one season with team Penske. Just announced that Penske is disolving said team and Kodak is not returning as a sponsor.
Shane Hmiel is probably pumping gas at a local station somewhere outside Cornelius, NC. I couldn't take any more of him running his mouth and blaming everyone but himself for his stupid wrecks. Suddenly he was suspended by NASCAR for an alleged drug incident. (hint: snifffffffffffffffffffffff) Good riddance punk ass!
Elliott Sadler was a clean cut, attractive and nice guy when he first came onto the Cup circuit. He e-mailed his fans personally once a week, giving out gifts to the fan who sent in the "question of the week". He was home grown, down home and totally charming in person as he was online. A few years later he got a ride with Robert Yates and started driving the M&M's Ford Taurus. He got two more wins and even finished in the top 10 in points that year. BUT...he makes one, or may I say MANY errors in the process. The down-home in him turns into MAJOR ego. He's cranky during fan interactions sometimes refusing to give autographs, he even becomes rude to people who have been following him since Day 1 or he just plain ignores their existance. (and I'm not talking about myself, this comes from many other trusted sources) Not to mention his overconfident pit crew start a rude chant right near me on pit road during the race at Watkins Glen that year. To sum it up they said they hate the town, they hate the people and they hate the track. Nice. I love his brother Hermie but that was the final straw for me. In 2005 he has had no wins and did not make the top 10 for the Race for the Chase. My plan is not to let him finish 11th in the point standings which would give him a 1 million dollar bonus and the opportunity to go to New York City for the drivers banquet, he's presently in 13th place. Nice number Eskwatch! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The moral of the story; Don't screw with me folks! You'll only hurt yourselves.

Dark and difficult times lie ahead, Harry

I've got to admit it, I have Harry Potter-itis. I think I have ever since the last book came out. So I'll put it out there that yes, I was at a store at midnight when Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Price book was released. I wasn't dressed like Hermione, I wasn't wearing a wizards robe but I DID have my Slitherin leather wrist band on!
I didn't stand in line waiting; I walked into the store at about 11:30 and noticed that everyone was standing in ONE line yet there were two girls at two seperate registers. So I did the smart thing, I went up to the register that had no line. I had already pre-paid for my copy so I was proud to be the first person walking out the door with that big green book clutched to my chest. I went home and read until I got so dizzy I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.
Unless you've been living under a rock you should know that this Friday is the release of the new Harry Potter movie, and my personal favorite book so far, The Goblet of Fire. So far the reviews have been VERY positive but I also heard from avid readers that some parts of the book have been skipped over or cut back. Not a big deal in my eyes but that's yet to be seen.
I admit it, I'm excited to see it. Now comes the great debate: whether to see it at the regular theatre (or at least my FAVORITE theatre that has those lovely stadium-style seats so the person infront of you is actually below you) or taking the risk and seeing it on the IMAX screen. Whether to see it Friday or Saturday or wait until the holiday movie craziness has died down.
I'm sure some out there are debating whether to wear their Griffindor robes with their Hufflepuff scarf or their Hogwarts dress robes with their Ravenclaw hat. Maybe I'm not as hard-core a fan as I thought!

Hey look me over, lend me an ear...

I don't know when and where I began my love-affair with musicals but it's outlasted every man who's come into my life. (not that there have been many great ones anyway)
I suppose it's because I've been singing as long as I've been walking. I remember that my favorite song as a little kid was "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond and it still makes me smile when I hear it on an oldies radio station.
But getting back to musicals. Where did it start for me? Maybe it was when I was 5 years old and my kindergarden class was chosen to be the children of the king of Siam in the highschools production of The King & I. Somehow I was chosen as the child to run out and hug the kings legs. (Must've been my shyness problem)
Then like most kids me and my sister always put together little dance routines to songs we knew or to songs on the 8-track tapes or LP's my parents always played.
Then came the musical Annie. I think every little girl wanted to play that role. Get up in that red curly wig and sing"Tomorrow" to old bald Daddy Warbucks. Although I wouldn't have needed the wig, just some red hair dye.
In highschool I auditioned for the school musical my senior year and won a starring role as George M. Cohan's sister Josie. What I remember most about that was how envious all the other girls were when I had no idea who Josie even was or what parts were considered "lead" roles. I remember the tap dancing lessons we had to take and all the practice in the school cafeteria. And the dress rehearsels and wearing our stage makeup and our costumes when we made a run to Burger King during our lunch break.
Unfortunately being the "belter" I am when it comes to singing, my voice was shot after opening night and I remember not being able to hit my high notes the 2nd show. (and my over-acting was probably brutal as well. hey, I never claimed to be an actor)
I never saw Cats, I never saw A Chorus Line until it came out as a movie. It took me YEARS to see The Phantom of the Opera and it is, to date, the only opera I've ever seen. Les Miserables is just incredible and so is Miss Saigon if you don't mind leaving the theatre crying your makeup off.
I've also seen Fiddler on the Roof, Dreamgirls, Hairspray and most recently The Music Man.
Fortunately I live in a city which considers itself EXTREMELY artsy. The Eastman School of Music is one of the best music schools in the country and the Auditorium theatre, which is only 5 minutes from my apartment, brings the best shows to town. The Lion King in scheduled for a 4 week run here in the spring.
So you see, you don't have to live in a big city to enjoy the lights of broadway!

I really don't need these Girl Scout cookies

Can you go anywhere these days without seeing something about weight loss? Restaurants have Lo-Cal and Weight Watchers menu items, commercials aren't just about fast food anymore and TV shows; I don't even know where to beGIN there. (The Biggest Loser is my personal favorite. If nothing else but hoping that Bob Harper fitness trainer to the stars will either be sweaty, get wet or take off his shirt!)

Personally, I never had a weight problem up until the last few years. I was a stick figure in highschool, pretty much the same in college and all throughout my 20's and early 30's. Then that lovely metobolism thing slows to a halt and, next thing you know, the Body Weight calculators are telling you you're about 40lbs over what is considered "ideal". (okay, right now I'm about 18lbs over)

So it's been on ongoing struggle. The whole a-typical thing; the fad diets, the gym memberships, cutting out the carbs completely and gaining all the weight and more back once you re-introduced them, the plateaus, the binging without the purging.

Well, I have the perfect solution for weight loss. STRESS. Not depression, just STRESS. There is a difference. Depression gets your butt off the couch at 8pm and makes you drive to the local CVS for a candy bar or a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. (which you eat all of before 9pm) Stress on the other hand makes you THINK you want to order that plate of food, but once you start digging in it makes your stomach say "okay, two bites of the grilled chicken sandwich is quite enough, thanks. I'm full" That's where I'm at. And it works folks. I've been at a plateau weight for the last....2 months. Over the last few weeks my buddy stress has made me drop 4 pounds. Which probably isn't alot when you have 100lbs to lose but when you're down to your last 20...that's alot. Especially for a woman. (I'm convinced that men can take a walk around the block and lose 14 pounds.)

Oh to be a bear. They hybernate all winter and come out about 70lbs thinner, probably more. What a life!

is there room on the passenger side?

Keeping on the topic of music,..let's talk about this guy right here; Keith Urban.
Ladies love him, guys want to be him and even a homely NASCAR driver tried to grow his hair out and dye it blonde hoping to look like him. What can you say? He's great looking. Not just in pictures but in person as well and his Australian accent doesn't hurt him either!
My friend Valerie turned me on to him a few years ago. She called him her country version of the Goo-Goo Dolls' John Reznik. (just because of the hair I'm sure)
So I listened, watched the videos and admitted,...I liked what I saw. I even laughed when I heard he posed in Playboy with nothing but a guitar and a smile. (you can find the pictures on yahoo in their image files)
Two years ago another friend of mine got tickets for a Kenny Chesney concert. He has a couple good tunes so I agreed to go. Un-beknownst to me, Keith was opening up for him. I walked out of there with a WHOLE new appreciation for the man. (Keith, not Kenny) Not only is he easy on the eyes but he can sing, he can play the shit out of a guitar and he was such an amazing showman. He didn't pose like said headliner, he didn't wear tight jeans, sleeveless shirts or even a cowboy hat. (God forbid he cover up those amazing locks) He sat up there, acted like he was just one of the boys in the band and won everyone over who was in the crowd that night. If you go to see him expecting a twangy, semi-quiet country show.....you will be sadly disappointed. This guy is a rock star.
So next Wednesday November 9th I'll be sitting 2nd row-center for his concert here. Yeah, I'll probably be "enjoying the sights" shall we say, but it's the music that keeps me coming back.

Oooo...on the TLC tip!

I remember back when I was working a job that kept me on the road all year round, I was reading a People Magazine and saw this review about this new group called TLC. I can't remember who they compared them to but I do remember how highly they spoke of the first album and that Babyface was some how involved in the production. Not hearing a track from it, I let the mag influence my purchase a few days later. And it was love from there on. They were quirky, forward, said it like it was kind of girls. Not to mention they could sing, one could rap and they ALL could dance. I must've played their tape (no, not 8-track!) every ride home and to work. I had the whole dang thing memorized. (especially the harmony parts which I'm sure all my close friends will agree to)

And 13 years later I still love 'em. Yes Lisa has passed on but I hoped that would not stop them from making music.

But I must say that one of their songs that speaks to me the most is off their first release. The song is called "What about your friends". The part about money isn't what I can relate to, it's just about how people come in and out of your life. The fair-weather types, the ones who are friends with you for their own reasons and the ones who stick by you no matter what.

So to you my dear friends I give you a little hip-hop salute...you know who you are as you're reading this.

"Every now and then I get a little crazy, That's not the way it's supposed to be.Sometimes my vision is a little hazy,I can't tell who I should trust or just who I let trust me (yeah). People try to say I act a little funny,But that's just a figure of speech to me.They tell me I changed because I got money, But if you were there before then you're still down with me

[Chorus:]What about your friends,Will they stand their ground, Will they let you down again. What about your friends, are they gonna be low down,Will they ever be around or will they turn their backs on you.

[Rap:]Well is it me or can it be I'm a little too,Friendly so to speak hypotheticallySay, I supply creativity to what others Must take as a form of self-hate.Only to make an enemy,Which results in unfortunate destiny.They dog me out then be next to me, Just cause I am what some choose to envy.

Every now and then I get a little easy, I let a lot of people depend on me. I never though they would ever deceive me, Don't you know when times got rough I was standing on my own. I'll never let another get that clost to me, You see I've grown a lot smarter now. Sometimes you have to choose and then you'll see, If your friends is true they'll be there with you Through the thick and thin"

If you want to check out TLC's new song, here it is: http://www.allaccess.com/images/mailing/TLC/tlc2.html

"I AIN'T TO PROUD TO BEG, NO!"

Almost too scary to post pictures

So it seems as if the thing to do today is list the movies that you think are the most scary and why. In keeping with that tradition and what seems like an un-ending compilation of lists...here's mine:

The Exorcist-Hands down the scariest movie ever made. I can't even watch it, can't watch shows dealing with it and even pictures from it creep me out. When it was re-released to the theatres about 5 years ago I tried talking people at work into going to see it with me. I couldn't imagine how scary it must have been on the big screen and I couldn't get one taker. Probably a good thing, I'd still be having nightmares.

The Exorcist III- Probably the least known of my scary movies. Must be something about whacky people in insane asylums being posessed. When you see folks crawling along the ceiling like flies...there's no way the hair on the back of your neck won't get prickly.

Poltergeist- Not as scary after seeing it a billion times but the scene where the guy claws off his face in the mirror, EW! Better yet I don't think any kid had a stuffed clown in their room after this flick came out.

The Omen- MANY spooky memorable moments in this one but the nanny coming after the mother in the hospital HAS to be the worst.

The Shining- The creepy lady in Room 237, the chopped up twins in the hallway, Scatman Crothers getting axed in the lobby, the blood pouring out of the elevator and Jack Nicholson at his craziest.

Blair Witch Project- once the truth got out that this movie was a complete farce it KIND of took the thrill out of it but if you watch it with the lights out and the surround sound on,..it's still a pretty scary ride. Hearing the screaming in the background is it's frightening best!

SWEET DREAMS!

The Frog, the Pig and whatever Gonzo is

I read an article on CNN.com today which stated that the Muppets are making a comeback.
Did they really ever leave? Maybe in everyone's elses world but not in mine.
I don't think a day goes by that I haven't quoted at least a line from the show or the movie or commented on how I'd kick someone ass just like Ms. Piggy would. (and she did it in heels no less)
Okay, I know...they're not real but in my world they're probably the most entertaining, honest and best of all sarcastic folks ever. Like Robin Williams once said about the Disney movie Aladdin; " it was Looney Tunes in Disney-drag" Now cover that with fur and you've got the Muppets.
There was a character everyone could relate to; Kermit who tried to run the place but ultimately gave in to the complete collapse and nuttiness of it all; Ms. Piggy who fell in love with a being outside her species and basically forced herself upon him (don't we all know woman like that) She could charm a man one moment and kick them in the teeth the next; Fozzie who was a terrible but loveable comedian who ducked verbal darts by the hecklers and wiggled his ears in response to his best jokes; Animal who I think is a favorite of those who even AREN'T big Muppet fans. The best skit ever was him having a drum-off with legendary drummer Buddy Rich. (I think he won by either blowing Rich's drum kit up, attacking him or some violent and hilarious way) Gonzo who had a pension for lady chickens, loved to become the human cannonball and made a hilarious looking Derth Nadar (aka Darth Vader) when Mark Hamill was a guest. The Swedish Chef who was normally attacked by the source of his next culinary creation or hurt himself in the process of chasing them down. (Bork, bork, bork) One of MY personal favorites (only because I do a great impression of him) Beaker who was the gineau pig to Dr. Bunson Honeydew's latest creation be it machine, chemical or physical discovery.

But MY all time favorite Muppets are Statler and Waldorf. Those hilarious old-geezers in the balcony who not only let Fozzie have it when ever he got on stage but who were also fond of verbally spanking the show itself and even each other.
Enjoy some of their classics:
Statler: Why did they want the igloo?
Waldorf: I don't know. Maybe somebody must have broken their ig.
--------------------------------------------------
Waldorf: That seemed like something very different.
Statler: Did you like it?
Waldorf: No.
Statler: Than it wasn't different.
----------------------------------------------------
Waldorf: That number scared the pants off of me.
Statler: Are you sure you didn't just forget to put them on?
----------------------------------------------------
Waldorf: Just when you think this show is terrible something wonderful happens.
Statler: What?
Waldorf: It ends.

Between growing up with them and Hawkeye Pierce it's no wonder I'm an irrepressible smart ass!

It was bound to happen...

There comes a time when you grow up that you tend to shy away from trends and the "what's hot and happening now" priority of your life. Basically, you stop being hip. It isn't something you intend on doing. You don't wake up one morning and think "what have i been doing?", you just develop your own sense of style. You KNOW you're not cool, but you're okay with it..and just hope others are as well. And after a while you stop caring about that too, pretty much anyway!
So here is how I know I'm not hip:

1- I don't have an Ipod. I don't even want one. Granted, I'll bet if I had one I'd probably love it. Although I don't think I could choose so many songs to fill it up. Then again, with my love of music I probably could.
2-I don't own a laptop with a high-speed connection. I'm still on old-style dial up. Yeah, I hate it. It's annoying sometimes and it probably will lock me up as I write this but....the $$ savings are more to me than convenience.
3-I don't wear clothes that are form fitting and/or skin tight. My nieces are always buying tight things and, I must admit. They look cute on them. Me, I'm always looking for baggy stuff. When did baggy go out? PLEASE come back!
4-I own shoes other than flip-flops. Infact, the only pair of flip-flops I own are ugly plastic ones that I put on after getting a pedicure at the salon. Today I even saw a kid running across the street with flips on, and it was 40 degrees out and raining. WHAT?!?
5-I hate rap music. Okay, let me rephrase that. I hate 99.9% of rap music. All those current rappers; 50 cent, Nelly, and all those weird ass names I hear, not interested in the least. To the point where I can't even watch MTV anymore because that's almost all they show. The .1 precent I like are Eminem and Will Smith.
6-I hate current music in general. I do know woman my age who listen to the local "#1 hit music station" and I think they're going through a female version of a mid-life crisis.
7-I don't watch the O.C or Laguna Beach. I watched 90210 and Melrose Place. That was enough teeny-bopper drama to last a lifetime, thanks.
8-I think any celebrity who is popular because they have money and have taken that money, had surgery and consider themselves hot are complete assholes. I don't look up to them and I defeinitely do NOT want to be like, dress like or get a dog like they have. Infact, I'd love to round them all up and take them to a poor country and make them take care of that nation for the next 20 years and see if it makes an actual human being out of them.
9-I own underwear that isn't a thong. And no, they aren't granny-panties either. Sorry, I can only tolerate a weggie for so long.
I think the only thing that's saving me from total un-hipness are my hip-hugger jeans. Levis are still cool, right?!

It wouldn't be a story without the bad guys...

The Villains. They're the best. So here is my ode to the somewhat harmless but frightening bad guys and chicks that I skip through DVD menus just to get to their parts:
The Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. When I was a kid he scared the pants off me to the point where when he'd come on the TV, I'd leave the room. Now my favorite moments are when that slope of a nose is on the screen. "I know there are children here SOMEwhere, I can FEEL it in my bones" A little trivia; the gentleman who played this ghoul was an aging ballet dancer who I believe was also knighted in his home land of Australia. Notice when he enters in the costume pictured and dances down the street; "Lollipops, Icecream...and all free today! Come along Kiddie-winkies"..watch those happy feet. I got into trouble one night at a job because a guy came in the door who had the same facial features as this nasty dude and I couldn't help but point it out to all my co-workers. Unfortunately the guys wife thought I was having a laugh at her expense and complained to my manager. Oops!
Ms. Gulch. Yeah, the Wicked Witch of the West was badass, but Ms. Gulch would've grabbed Dorothy and her little dog too even before they got out of Munchkinland. Come on, you've got to admit; the bike and her theme music are the highlight of the movie, only 2nd to the entrance of the Lollipop Guild! Plus the old bag had money too, drop a house on THAT!
You also have to give some props to the Wicked Witch of the West as well. You have to respect an ugly woman who controlled an army of green men and flying monkeys, not knowing how they hated her. Her power wasn't that strong, but she had enough style to put the most strength into a pair of shoes, even though they didn't really match her outfit. And what was up with her sisters pantyhose? Did you ever notice that? What was she wearing that she would have striped stockings and ruby red shoes?
And speaking of Wicked Witches of the West, there's also a pretty nasty broad that not alot of people know about, her name is Evillene. She was in the version of the Oz movie called The Wiz and she made the green lady here and Ms. Gulch look like they could work at Hooters. Her flying monkeys rode on motorcyles and her Winkies worked in her sweatshop. She sat on a throne which was just that; a porcelin throne that she was flushed down when she melted. Probably the scariest thing about this chick is you never really got a good look at her, which is a blessing. She was a big and nasty wench. She crushed the tin man, sawed the Scarecrow in half, had them hang the lion up by his tail and was threatening to put Toto into an oven. Not nice!
Now that I think about it, it's so appropriate to write about these nasty folks only 11 days away from Halloween!
Sleep tight!

The picture that launched a thousand attitudes..

A few days ago I caught this article on Foxsports.com. The headline read "The photo was troubling to even the most ardent Jeff Gordon fan: Just 12 hours after he was eliminated from championship contention, a smiling Gordon was caught enjoying himself at the men's U.S. Open final with a drink in his hand and a model on his arm."
Are you people serious? First of all, the "model" isn't just some chick he picked up at a party at Hef's mansion. He's been dating Ingrid Vandebosch for a while now. Secondly...what SHOULD he be doing? Like he said, should he have been at Hendrick the next morning screaming at people? Or maybe he should've been in bed, curled up with his blanket and balling his eyes out.
Come on now, when all is said and done, it's a SPORT. Yeah, it's his job but it's still..a SPORT. It's not brain surgery, law or working for the military.
His not making the Chase hasn't hurt TV ratings, hasn't scared away the fans or stopped the arguments. We all woke up the next day and the world,..yup; it was still turning.
I remember back when he and his ex-wife split up the folks in the garage were saying how much more laid back he was. That they never knew he was so funny. So now he's having fun, being himself and he's getting screamed at for it?
Obviously he has a life outside NASCAR, I think it's about time some of the writers and fans got one as well!

Not lookin' for love in all the wrong places...

I've gotta stop all this sports talk for a bit, sorry guys.
There is another subject that weighs on my mind sometimes but not for the reason you THINK it does.
I haven't made an attempt to find a man in probably over a year and I'm starting to think it's a sign of either losing my mind or actually gaining it back. I'm sure people would argue both sides. What can I say, I'm sick of the bullshit. Giving out the phone number and never hearing back, the awkward first date and good LORD that nerve racking first kiss. The games, the headaches, the guilt, the jealousy, the up-one-minute, down-the-next emotions and just all the freakin' drama. Gee, I'm missing out on SO much.
I admit, I was a Carrie out there for a while. Dating with reckless abandon, meeting that unobtainable guy who had commitment issues who eventually dumped me. Then trying to date others so I could forget him even though that was completely impossible. (and still is in some aspects) I also had my Samantha years of which I survived with my brain and body in tact...and I have the blood test to prove it.
Then I went through my Charlotte times of "I've been dating for over 15 years...where IS he?!?!". I think that stage lasted as long as it did because of my friends. They were in the same boat and they kept me from leaping out for a while. (at least until I distracted them with some shiney things)
Then my last post-breakup stage was definitely Miranda-esque; just hating men and thinking they're all shit and not even believing a normal relationship was possible.
Now I'm over all my Sex and the City moments and have moved on to an acceptance of my situation. Not to mention, what kind of man could I fit in to my weird little world of NASCAR, Bills Backers and NHL? Would he tolerate the Grover plush that's laying on my bed? Would he think I was odd because I own birds instead of a Labrador Retriever? That I spend most of my life in jeans and sweatshirts instead of suits and designer clothes?
Well, as one of my favorite Samantha quotes said "Relationships have been on the decline ever since women came out of the cave, looked around and said, "this isn't so bad."

One thing I can never be called as a sports fan is a bandwagoner. Why, because most of the teams I like aren't successful. It depends of course on what you define as successful. For football, I'm a Buffalo Bills fan. Which hasn't been easy the last few years...or 10 years, or 20 years for that matter. I suffered through the 4 Super Bowls we went to and still cringe at the thought of the 1st one. Say what you want but it should've NEVER come down to a fieldgoal. I don't put that loss on Norwood's back, never did.
My favorite hockey team, the Buffalo Sabres. Since I've been following them they've been to one Stanley Cup final of which they were robbed. I can't even discuss it,..STILL. And if I ever get NEAR Gary Bettman I have a few words for him. Yes, STILL.
In baseball I love the hated Yankees. And no, not since last year or since their last World Series. Since the mid-to-late 70's. Not sure if the exact year because my memory is so bad. But I remember Thurman Munson and this was before he was killed in the plane crash. I think I used to call him Thurman Munster. I had a poster of Bucky Dent on my closet door and a little picture of him that I cut out of a magazine in my wallet. I've seen pictures of Bucky lately. Bucky STILL looks good, he still has all his hair. I'm pretty sure he'll be the next Yankees manager if/when Mr. Torre finally steps down. Just when you thought Red Sox fans couldn't hate us much more, put Bucky on the bench?
I can't say I'm an NBA fan. Just never got into it. I do follow the Denver Nuggets on occasion but that's only because former SU superstar Carmello Anthony plays there. If it weren't for him I could give two shits about basketball.
In NASCAR I love the underdog. I was an Elliott Sadler fan until he became successful. His ego followed him into the point standings and it totally turned me off. Too bad he's not as good looking as he seems to think he is, he'd be gorgeous. Now I'm a fan of Scott Riggs. Met him in the garage a couple years ago and there isn't one ounce of attitude in the man. He's adorable. Just a little thing who's the spitting image of his Dad. (without the facial hair and all the greys) And his son Layne is a mini-me of him. And I'm a Hermie Sadler fan. Another guy who bubbles with personality. He's been snakebit in his racing career lately but of what I've heard he's quite the business man so I'll be supporting him no matter the endeavor. I just hope he doesn't hold my disdain of his brother against me. Not his fault they're related!

I have a new love...and his name is Woodchuck. I met him when I was at the official home of the Rochester, NY chapter of Buffalo Bills Backers, Woody's II. There he stood, over the tap looking longingly into my eyes. I couldn't resist. LOL
His full name is Woodchuck Cider.
http://www.woodchuck.com/
What can I say, I've never been a beer drinker. Maybe it's because my father used to let me have sips of his beer out of his glass of Utica Club. My tastebuds were forever tainted. We toured their brewery once, I think it was a right-of-passage for anyone who lived there. I remember at the end of the tour they had samples of beer for the adults and rootbeer for the kids. It was the most digusting soda (or "pop" for you western, NY folks) that I have ever tasted. I remembering drinking from a keg at a HS graduation party...basically because everyone else was drinking and I didn't want to look out of place. Then I moved on to a deerskin flask of Peppermint Shnapps. Do all 20 year olds go through a Schnapps-stage? Then it was all those lovely fruity drinks out at the clubs. And shots, I always loved shots. Still do. Although you won't catch me anywhere near a shot of Tequila ever since I got kicked out of one of my favorite watering holes because I was going to start a fight with some girls who was trying to make the moves on a guy I liked. I had a 48 hangover after doing about 8 shots of Sambuca one night, the smell of it still make me nauseaus to this day. I'm a known Long Island Iced Tea lover and would be happy to tell the story some day of how my 70 year old grandmother and her cronnies up at the lake decided to have a pitcher of these concoctions one night and had to be carried to bed because they couldn't move after downing a few. There's a lesson to be learned there, never mix...especially after 70.

I thought about writing a book one time about being a female sports fan. I've been one all my life. Been a tomboy since I was born; always had guys as best friends growing up, played football with my uncles and cousins and my brother and his friends. I wasn't the girl inside playing with makeup, that's for sure. Infact I didn't start wearing any until late in my highschool years.
Being a female sports fan can be tricky. You have to balance that fine line of being a fan and being a groupie. Why men don't have those labels I'll NEVER know because I have met some male-groupies in my day. Guys who measured their worth by the semi-pro athletes they hung out with. I always called them the Left-over-hunters. Any girl the player would diss, the LOH would take a shot at. Or I'd call them the players entourage. I saw it quite a bit around the local minor league hockey team. There'd always be one or two of them who followed the guys around. I guess it made them feel important. Then there'd be the ones outside the arena with the notebook full of hockey cards. Would that make them a groupie or just an autograph-ant. What about those guys who always get into the camera shot when athletes are being interviewed on TV? What would you call them (other than fucking annoying!) It's RARE you see a women doing that, probably because we know the camera adds 10lbs.
So I teetered on that fine-line for years. Still do I suppose. I can tell you whatever you want to know about the game of hockey, football or baseball. I'm getting to know NASCAR pretty well. But I'm not so ungirl-like that I can't tell you who the good looking guys on the teams are. And I've been known to get tongue-tied in the presence of some of them as well. So what does that make me?

Animals, animals animals. I have them on the brain after watching Animal Planet last night. They were showing people down in New Orleans rescuing dogs, cats, birds, lizards and even turtles post-Katrina. Wow, talk about tugging at the old heart strings. It was happy and sad all at the same time. The best part was seeing the reunions of the pets with their owners but seeing the dead animals, the ones who were malnurished because they were on their own for so long or the ones they had to leave behind because they ran out of room at the places they had set-up to take them in.....made me cry like a baby.
I have a LARGE place in my heart for animals; wild and pet-like. I grew up with them all around me. English Setters and mutts and cats and cows and chickens and birds and fish....I had all of them. I can't imagine having a place without a pet, it wouldn't feel like a home. Unfortunately because of my allergies I can only have fish or birds. Right now i have two birds; Mario my incredible-singing canary and Louise; a chatty Parakeet/Budgie who I adopted from a friends brother. They keep me entertained.
I even worked at a veterinary office once and spent some volunteer time at the local zoo. Being a Leo you couldn't keep me AWAY from the big cats.
Anyway, for those of you fellow animal lovers there's a place where you can donate money to help with the rescue, care and transportation of the animals affected by Katrina.

https://secure.hsus.org/01/disaster_relief_fund_2005?

WOOF!

So my days as a fan of INXS are over, or at least totally tainted. Last night they named that Canadian jackass as their new lead singer. Thanks but no thanks boys. If that's the kind of person you want...find some new fans to follow you. Obviously they never watched what happened at the house. Or they're into bastards. So I'll sit here and patiently wait for the new Jordis Unga CD.
at least TLC's R U the Girl was a win-win. I liked both of the finalists but I figured O'So Krispie had it from the get-go. Basically it was hers to lose and she didn't faulter. She did a pretty good job dancing with them to premier their new single last night. Her dancing was a LITTLE off but I think that was just nerves. I was happy for her. now if she would just do something else with her hair and get rid of those face piercings..geez! And Mirrah was totally classy in her loss. love that girl.
that's about all in the reality TV world. I don't watch Big Brother,..I stopped watching Survivor after season 3. I'll probably watch America's Next Top Model again.
And is it me or does EVERY station show the PG-13 version of Sex and the City now? Do the words "over-kill" mean ANYTHING to anyone in the networks?!

okay, let's talk about more irrelevant things. Celebrity meetings. I once heard someone say that the best thing to do is worship most celebrities from afar because 90% of the time, you'll be disappointed when you meet them. I totally agree with this theory because i have been on the receiving end of both treatments; good and "leave me the feck alone".
Case in point..Whitney Houston. Back before Bobby and drug allegations, when she was a skinny chick who sang from her freakin feet I met her when I was working at a local hotel. At the time, I was pretty much a fan. After her concert her, her band, her entourage and even her mother came into the bar to relax and have a drink. So here I am dressed in my semi-unstylish cocktail waitress uniform (this was a classy place so get that picture of short-shorts and a low-cut top RIGHT out of your mind) going up to her table to take her order. Everyone else at her table was VERY nice; smiled at me, didn't make any special requests...totally cordial. But miss Whitney, calling her a bitch would've been an understatement. And let me tell you something else about Ms. Houston or Brown or whatever the fuck she goes by now. If she didn't have makeup on you'd pass her aneroxic lookin ass without lookin twice.
Now let's talk about more positive things; pleasant celebrity encounters. Jeff Gordon; the guy has every excuse to be a top notch asshole but is the furthest from it. Dana Carvey; was a HUGE star on SNL when I met him at the same hotel ms. bitchney Houston stayed at. He was extremely engaging and hilarious. Howie Mandel; sweet, funny and always wears silly shoes. George Brett; one of the nicest athletes I have EVER met. Would remember your name even if you only met you once. (even remembered the stupid-ass Alf watch I was wearin) Don Mattingly; wow. a story for another blog! and recently the new Buffalo Bills starting quarterback JP Losman; May have a "I don't want to be at this appearance" look on his face but once you start talking to him....the personality just bubbles.
So what have we learned today. Nothing I guess. Just don't be surprised if they're assholes. Just like regular folk.
GO BILLS!

Week 1 for the Bills has come to an end with a 1-0 record. VERY nice. I was gunna stay home and watch but then I decided to go to this bar where the Rochester chapter of the Bills Backers allegedly meets. So I figure I'd get there early for a seat, right? Figured,..opening day it would be crowded. Well, I think I was one of two non-employee cars there when I pulled in. I thought "was this bar their meeting place LAST season?" So I stuck it out. A good crowd showed but it was some Bills fans, some Steelers fans, some of my least favorite fans (Dolphins) and a smattering of other fans who couldn't see their favorite teams game on local TV. One thing I forgot was what it was like to go into a bar by myself. Basically it attracts men who see you're by yourself therefore you have no defenses. (other girlfriends, guyfriends or dates...you might as well have a target on your head) Both men who sat near me of course had to tell me how they're divorced and have teenage kids, and how I don't look my age,..blah, blah, blah. Nice guys but, definitely not my type. I don't mind talking but I was there to watch the game. I met the guy who heads up the Rochester Chapter of non-existant Bills Backers. Nice guy that Steve but why someone would come to the bar with their wife and two kids is beyond me. Isn't the wife the automatic Sunday afternoon babysitter? Anyway, I offered my assistance so I guess I'm going to be VP or secretary or something of the local chapter. Kind of cool. and since I dumped my webmaster and pit person role on the local race team aside back in July...I was looking for a hobby anyway. So I guess our goal now is to get more folks to the bar next Sunday, get a banner for outside the bar and some more people to sign up. And a website. (hello..Christine,..I need your help,..AGAIN!) I'll tell you one thing, being in a bar with about 40 TV's that are showing 10 different games must feel like what a little kid feels when he walks into a ToysRUs store for the very first time. It's sensory overload! It would've made me dizzy if I were drunk. So our Bills beat that hot looking QB from Houston. That's what he gets for pointing into the stands after his lameass TD run. What happened to having to cross the plane to make a touchdown?!?! JP Losman...will you marry me?!?!?