Being a somewhat last minute person, I ventured into a Hallmark store today to pick up some Valentines Day cards.I normally don't get sucked in to this holiday because personally...I think it's bullshit. If you love someone you should show them all year round, not just once a year.
Last year on V-Day I was working my part-time job as a cashier at a local grocery store called Wegmans. I had my favorite Express Lane and all night all I was ringing up were flowers, cards, candy and the occasional beer and condoms. And EVERY person in my line was male. (stupid suckers)
Anyway, while I was about to leave the store I noticed the new cards they have that play a song when you open them. BUT SUDDENLY...I spotted Roseanne Roseannadanna! EXCUSE ME?? She never sang! It was a card marked "How are You?"
Upon opening it the words from a classic RR Weekend Update sketched came out "I'm depressed, I gained weight, my face broke out, I'm nauseous, I'm constipated, my feet swelled, my gums are bleedin', my sinuses are clogged, I got heartburn, I'm cranky and I have gas!"
Needless to say, I bought it. It's perfect for my cubicle at work.
Thank you Hallmark!!
1 comment:
I love Gilda, have bought these cards with her famous "It's Always Something"..but I cannot find them and I've tried. If anyone knows how to buy them, PLEASE let me know.
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