It wouldn't be a story without the bad guys...

The Villains. They're the best. So here is my ode to the somewhat harmless but frightening bad guys and chicks that I skip through DVD menus just to get to their parts:
The Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. When I was a kid he scared the pants off me to the point where when he'd come on the TV, I'd leave the room. Now my favorite moments are when that slope of a nose is on the screen. "I know there are children here SOMEwhere, I can FEEL it in my bones" A little trivia; the gentleman who played this ghoul was an aging ballet dancer who I believe was also knighted in his home land of Australia. Notice when he enters in the costume pictured and dances down the street; "Lollipops, Icecream...and all free today! Come along Kiddie-winkies"..watch those happy feet. I got into trouble one night at a job because a guy came in the door who had the same facial features as this nasty dude and I couldn't help but point it out to all my co-workers. Unfortunately the guys wife thought I was having a laugh at her expense and complained to my manager. Oops!
Ms. Gulch. Yeah, the Wicked Witch of the West was badass, but Ms. Gulch would've grabbed Dorothy and her little dog too even before they got out of Munchkinland. Come on, you've got to admit; the bike and her theme music are the highlight of the movie, only 2nd to the entrance of the Lollipop Guild! Plus the old bag had money too, drop a house on THAT!
You also have to give some props to the Wicked Witch of the West as well. You have to respect an ugly woman who controlled an army of green men and flying monkeys, not knowing how they hated her. Her power wasn't that strong, but she had enough style to put the most strength into a pair of shoes, even though they didn't really match her outfit. And what was up with her sisters pantyhose? Did you ever notice that? What was she wearing that she would have striped stockings and ruby red shoes?
And speaking of Wicked Witches of the West, there's also a pretty nasty broad that not alot of people know about, her name is Evillene. She was in the version of the Oz movie called The Wiz and she made the green lady here and Ms. Gulch look like they could work at Hooters. Her flying monkeys rode on motorcyles and her Winkies worked in her sweatshop. She sat on a throne which was just that; a porcelin throne that she was flushed down when she melted. Probably the scariest thing about this chick is you never really got a good look at her, which is a blessing. She was a big and nasty wench. She crushed the tin man, sawed the Scarecrow in half, had them hang the lion up by his tail and was threatening to put Toto into an oven. Not nice!
Now that I think about it, it's so appropriate to write about these nasty folks only 11 days away from Halloween!
Sleep tight!