Save the plastic but kill the trees

After working my first full 7 days as a cashier at the local grocery store chain I've learned alot of things about people. Basically, almost all of you seem to leave your brains at the door. What is it about shopping for groceries that makes ordinary sane people turn into stark raving idiots?
For one....the Paper People. You know who you are. I can spot you a mile away now. You're people with money who keep your wallet in a vice and dress either like the homeless or like you just came from NY fashion week.
Let me show you the cuts on my hands just because you're thinking you're being environmentally friendly by taking paper instead. I look like I have a vicious cat at home. Guess what, i do have a way of getting my revenge on you. I pack those bags so heavy that you'll be lucky if you can lift them out of your cart! BAHAHAHAHA! Suffa' bitch!
Even more annoying than the PP's are the PIP's. The Paper In Plastic people. What the fuck is THAT?!?! What is the point? These people also seem to shop once every two months.
Then there's the people who you just can't seem to bag their groceries perfect enough. Well, ya know what? If you put your shit onto the conveyor in the order you want it bagged it would make my life alot freakin easier. Instead you treat me like some sort of idiot because I can't be a mind reader and know how you want them. Look, just be happy your bread isn't smushed and your eggs aren't crushed. I didn't know there was a law against putting produce on the top of cans.
Then there's the genuises that don't weigh their produce, even though there's a scale that prints out labels and barcodes all OVER that department. Then they give me dirty looks and attitude because I don't know what a leek is. WTF would I use a leek for? I'm 7 days into this job and I haven't learned every produce code yet. Save us all some time there Einstein, weigh and label the shit okay?
And people wonder why cashiers are so cranky....