You make a grown girl sick

Why I didn't watch the Super Bowl:
Okay, it is true; I worked almost all night on Sunday but even if I wasn't working I wouldn't have even BOTHERED to tune in to ABC for it's 20+ hours of SuperBowl coverage.
Why might you ask? Why would I miss the most popular sporting event of the year? Well, I have many reasons.
The pre-game show. No, I don't mean the ONfield stuff, I mean the in-studio garbage with whatever retired NFL players they can dig up who find the need to break the game down before it even happens and debate who's going to win and why. Seriously, does anyone REALLY give a fuck what these guys think? Most of them have taken so many hits to the head that they're lucky if they can tie their shoes.
The pre-pre-game crap. All that overly orchestrated, choreographed onfield Up With People bullshit. What ever happened to the good old marching band? Or maybe some mascots getting out there and beating the piss out of each other. I'd like to meet the people who organize this crap and ask them exactly what group of humans they are trying to appeal to because personally...I haven't met anyone who likes it.
The anthem. As much as I loathe Whitney Houston (see my blog from Sept.16) no one has done any kind of decent anthem since. At least on a football field. Marvin Gaye did one back in the late 70's/early 80's at an NBA event that brought the house down. God love Aretha Franklin but she has gotten so full of her big black ass that I can't tolerate looking at her anymore. What exactly was Aaron Neville doing there? He's from Nah'leans. When they finally get their crap together, he's got the gig but in Motown? Come on.
The half-time show. Okay, this is where I REALLY get aggitated. Once again, the game is in Detroit; the ex-music capital of the freakin world and what do they do? Do they call Barry Gordy? Wrong! They bring in a british band whose average age is DEAD! I'm so glad I didn't have to witness any close-ups of Mick Jaggers wrinkley, old ass or watch Keith Richards hack hair balls onto the stage. Don't get me wrong, I know they're rock legends but rock is all about anger and rebellion, not about botox and viagara. That's why this line in the movie I named my blog after always cracks me up:
Dennis Hope: If you think that Mick Jagger will still be doing the whole rock star thing at age fifty, well, then, you are sorely, sorely mistaken.